Orange is the new smack

I’m currently obsessed with two very particular things that I just can’t get off my brain: my book and Orange is the New Black.

Surprisingly, the two go hand-in-hand. As I sit and binge-watch that show, a semi-normal topic of conversation I know we all have (“Who would play you in a movie of your life?”) keeps my brain screaming at me for not being remotely close to finishing my book.

Without a doubt, Natasha Lyonne would make the perfect Mary Lou Wretched. Do you see it? Huh? Do you? Do you?

Image

Image

Fact: neither Natasha nor I are getting any younger. And while I seriously doubt this crazy story would get turned into a movie, I at least think it’s the constant reminder/kick in the pants I need to at least finish the thing before she’s 80 and my perfect doppelganger can’t play a 32 year old roller derby player. Yes, it’s come to that kind of narcissism to make this book happen—because writing is so hard, guys!

So since we’re all thinking about it now… Tell me! Who would play you in a movie?

6 comments / Add your comment below

  1. That crazy guy from Dracula. You know, the one with the coke bottle glasses who also sings in real life. Yeah. That guy. Also, possibly Sally Field.

  2. I think only a bear could represent me on the silver screen. Preferably a Kodiak bear.

    If a bear is unavailable, then perhaps Nathan Fillion will do.

  3. If I go off of what everybody else says then I guess either Bruce Willis or Jason Statham. Not that either one is a bad choice but as long as it’s a movie and we’re embellishing reality, why not go with Robert Downey Jr. or Val Kilmer?

Leave a Reply