Year to year

I’ve been sifting through my photos lately and thinking about where I was a year ago. Just over a year ago, I was sitting in tears in the Roller Warriors locker room at the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association International Championship. We had come in with a win from our divisional tournament and were hoping to snag another medal at the Division 2 tournament. But we didn’t. I had spent the weeks prior mending a broken finger, a popped bursa, and a separated shoulder and I felt like our losses were my fault. Of course, I think we all felt that way.

A part of me knew I would never again return to this level of play for roller derby. And it killed me. That’s part of why the tears came. I knew what I was giving up.

I had more tears yesterday. But this time, it was because I couldn’t stop laughing.

I had the butt of a toddler in my face. She held a downward facing dog as she waved her cheeks at me and chanted, “Look at my hole butt. Look at my hole butt. Look at my hole butt. Look at my hole butt.”

Things have changed. I don’t regret any of it for a moment.

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