Lessons in survival

I wish I could say that I’ve spent all of 2017 doing things like writing my representatives and writing my novel and traveling to fabulous places. But I have to be honest with you guys. I’ve spent most of 2017 puking so hard I literally pee my pants.

Before I tell you exactly why I keep peeing my pants, let’s travel back in time to that story about when my boyfriend and I flipped a car. In the days afterwards, I was in massive amounts of pain because of a dislocated shoulder and taking Hydrocodone to just get comfortable. My doctor had given me nausea medicine, but it wasn’t touching things. I’d barely eat, then vomit. And on top of that, I had horrible insomnia.

And then I went to see my chiropractor. To my horror, he popped my shoulder back in place, which was the worst pain imaginable. Then he told me to flip on my belly. That’s when I noticed something wasn’t right. When I talked to my bestie Kelsey, she urged me to figure out what was going on. And both of our guts were telling us what we suspected. I’m pregnant.

I’m pretty in tune with my body, obviously, so when I realized I’m carrying a spawn, it all made sense. I had to immediately stop taking meds for obvious reasons, which was hell considering the fact that I had a dislocation. I stopped taking the nausea meds, too, so the whole vomiting-while-peeing-my-pants thing got even worse. But I could immediately tell what the baby was asking for. I was chugging dairy and downing fruits and vegetables, until just recently when the only thing this vegetarian could stomach was McDonald’s chicken nuggets and fresh iced tea. It makes no sense, but the doctor told me not to try to make sense of it.

The thing is, I’ve been trying to hide the fact that I’m pregnant. But I can’t anymore. I’m at almost 11 weeks right now and my belly is so big that people are already suspecting I’m carrying twins.

I fell into that whole, “I can’t tell anyone until I’m safely through the first trimester” mentality. But I can’t hide it. This baby is like, “HI! NOTICE ME!” and since I heard the heartbeat last week, I feel comfortable talking about it.

I also found myself hesitant to talk about it at first — not just because historically, it’s been taboo, but also because I have had friends who are trying desperately to have babies, with no luck, or who have miscarried, and even a derby friend who lost her adult son. I don’t want to bring them pain. But at the same time, I want to celebrate the fact that I’m an elderly primagravida (yeah, that’s the term for an older, first time mother and it makes me want lasagna) or that I’m having a “geriatric pregnancy” and that I’m totally ok with those terms. Cause at least I get to be a mom. At 40. Whoa.

In case you’re wondering, yes, I’m totally petrified I’m talking about it too early and that something bad could happen. But considering the fact that we’ve already survived that horrible car wreck, I’m expecting positive things.

After all, this fetus has Sicilian and Irish blood pumping through its veins, plus a football player and derby girl for parents. Something tells me this baby is going to come out ready for a fight.

10 comments / Add your comment below

  1. Aww!!! Mel I am so happy for you, I did that whole puking thing when I first found out I was Pregnant with my daughter. My boyfriend at that time found out up close and personal what the term projectile puking was all about, I sat up in bed one night and without warning began puking, he said” I thought you had turned into Linda Blair & your head was going to start spinning around”. Lol As you begin this journey just remember to keep your sense of humor & enjoy all of it from the puking,sore boobs,pants growing tighter & tighter, hearing the heart beat for the first time, the first time your baby kicks, etc… It is a wonderful experience……… We love you so very much and are thrilled for you both. God Bless

    1. Thank you Aunt Debbie! I think that’s one of the things I’ve definitely realized about my age. I’ve lived life and have so much perspective and insight I wouldn’t have had at 20. I’m relishing in all of it.

  2. Congrats to you all!!!! We love adding to that Enneking family tree! Hoping for another red-head, too. And good luck with your pregnancy! My last two were “geriatric” as well, I’m still not sure about that term. Best wishes to you!!
    Oh, and just get used to peeing yourself and practice clenching with all your might whenever you sneeze. LOL

  3. Happy for you and my cousin! And being an “old mom” has its advantages. I delivered our one and only at 40 (I just had to laugh at some of the awful sounding terms while pregnant), and 3-year-old Liam has taken us on quite a ride. I look forward to seeing yet another person added to our Enneking Christmas!

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