I love being a mom. I mean love it—both to my furry and human babies. But even an easy-going mom like me might have reached my limits last week, and let me tell you… If you don’t currently have kids or pets, I’d say keep reading so you quit thinking about it. You’ve been warned.
I went to work on Thursday thinking I had stepped in cow manure. (Full disclosure: I know that manure smell because I grew up in Central Illinois, next to a farm, so the scent of cow manure is permanently seared into my brain.)
I kept looking at my shoes. No poo. I asked if other people smelled it. Everybody walked away, giving me full-on side-eye.
And then I walked across a mile in the outside heat and I realized what was going on. Wait… Let me clarify! I realized there were three potential situations that could have happened.
Situation 1: My not-quite 2-year-old son picked up fossilized dog poo from the yard and stuck it in his pocket, thinking it was a stick. I then washed and dried with with my laundry.
Situation 2: My not-quite 6-year-old daughter picked up fossilized dog poo from the yard and stuck it in her pocket, thinking it was a stick. I then washed and dried with with my laundry.
Situation 3: My cat pooped in the laundry basket. And then the clean sweater sitting at the bottom of my basket—the one I couldn’t find until I had dumped clean laundry from the dryer into the basket, then piled it back into the dryer before I found it—was covered in cat poop and it had began baking onto my body in 90 degree heat.
If you think situation 3 is pretty specific, you’d be right! Because that’s what happened! DING DING DING!
What’s worse? Thinking one of your children did it, or that your cat did it, and then having none of those situations surprise you?
If you’re thinking of having kids or getting a cat, you may want to rethink it. But if you’ve read this and you’re thinking, “Been there…” Then please know I feel your pain. Thoughts and prayers to you, my friend.