Tales from the depths

It’s been a bit since I last wrote, and I’ll be honest, it’s because I’m drained. I seem to be pulled in a million different directions, and it seems my plan of action changes on a daily basis.

So here’s where I stand on a few things:

• After my last, terrifying bout, I got called out by a ref who told me he wanted to scream, “WHY AREN’T YOU PLAYING ROLLER DERBY?” every time I was out on the floor. Since then, I started playing roller derby again. No more head games. No more psyching myself out. I’m done with that. And in other exciting derby-related blather,  I’ll be on the news at 10 p.m. tonight with my derby sisters just in case you want to watch me talk about things like the usefulness of fishnets followed by me getting knocked to the floor over and over again.

• It looks as if I’ll be offering my personal training services at the YMCA. YAY!

• I’ve stumbled across some job opportunities that I’m extremely excited about. Though I’ve had some fantastic freelance opportunities, I’m missing the conceptual side of advertising. So I’m keeping my eyes open and am looking forward to seeing if something falls into place.

• In the meantime, I have butterflies in my stomach over some things I might try to pursue. I’m *this* close to being done with my Nutrition Certification, and the closer I get the more I am dreaming of going back to school and ultimately starting my own health and wellness business. I applied to Missouri State today, even though it scares me to death thinking about having to take Chemistry and Microbiology, and to think that I might have to start another career over again. I’ve also started on a business plan. (What? Me? A business plan? Who am I?)

• And okay, the whole starting over thing is dumb, really, because I’ll always be a writer. I’ve been doing that since I could hold a crayon. So I’ve been writing random articles here and there. I am working on getting articles published on Livestrong.com. I’m contributing to some local magazines here in town. I’ve started a screen play with The Owl, which will likely never see the light of day, but it’s something we just have to do. I have all kinds of other plans involving my writing.

So that’s it. I have a million things going on, and it all makes me feel a bit overwhelmed. It’s crazy thinking my entire life could change—again—in a matter of weeks, that I could either be training people and a college student again, or living in a different city and trying to find a new roller derby league filled with girls I love as much as my sisters here.

I look forward to seeing how it all plays out, but until then, I leave you with a quote a friend posted on Facebook recently, which I believe sums up this entire post.

Bones mend. Regret stays with you forever.

—Patrick Ruthfuss