Only in my dreams

Once upon a time, I vowed as a New Year’s resolution that my legs would someday look like this:

As I recall, that resolution came when I was but a young derby pup. I was so naïve back then, pretending that I’d stay a boney 115 pounds.

Obviously, I was wrong.

So I shouldn’t have been shocked when I caught a glimpse of my butt and thighs in the mirror at the gym on Friday. Holy moly. I have derby thighs and butt. (Please see Suzy Hotrod for the ultimate derby body.)

Derby butts are thick. They’re muscular. They are a thing of wonder. And I have them.

I finally see that I an athlete. With every mile I’ve run, every squat and lunge, and every lap I’ve sprinted, my thighs have grown stronger. Which translates to bigger. Which means I’ve Bruce Bannered my way out of most of my skinny jeans. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I’m proud. Really, I am. These babies are the result of a lot of hard work and sweat.

So no, I will never have those svelte Sabina Sciubba legs. And that is perfectly okay with me.

Especially since a Brazilian Girls video kind of looks like a derby after party:

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