I am the Best Aunt Ever.
Seriously – it’s a title that my niece and nephews have graciously bestowed upon me*. Oh, how little minds make me happy. Despite my many flaws, my occasional stupidity, my poor choices, and everything else that’s in the list of why I can sometimes really suck, they just don’t see me in that light.
So when I get cards and drawings filled with great sentiments — like how I’m wonderful, that they’re on my “team,” etc. — it thrills me. Though I don’t really understand their logic, I love it. Mostly because the things that make me stand out in their minds are what actually make me fairly lame.
The following reasons are just a handful of the arguments they’ve used to name me the Best Aunt Ever:
1) Gadgetry. You see, a few years ago, when my niece Macy was in preschool, I went to visit her at school. When her teacher asked her to introduce her visitor, she said, “This is my Aunt Melody. She has an iPod.” Cue oohs and ahhs from a bunch of 4-year-olds. Well, folks, my coolness factor has since been upgraded along with my iPhone — mostly because I download games like Draw Something for them. Plus, I have a MacBook they can use to make videos. I have at least two videos of them singing songs about how great I am. Love it.
2) I make the kids cool things. Now, I’d like to remind all of you readers that “cool” is totally subjective here. But ages ago, my youngest nephew, Aidan, asked me to knit him a scarf. With flames. And lightening bolts. If you’re wondering, no, I haven’t yet finished it. And yes, I am pretty far along, but those freaking lightening bolts are going to be the death of me. Still, Aidan asks me every time I see him if I’ve finished his scarf, and since I’m now working on projects for his baby sister who is due in August, I figure I had better finish it soon. It will be the coolest scarf ever, because as my derby sister Jade Lightning has proven time and time again — anything with lightening bolts on it is purely amazing.
3) They think I’m a talented chef. I’ve seen Carson pause and catch his breath over my pesto mashed potatoes. I’ve had Parker, Dane, and Grant — who claimed they didn’t like seafood — beg for more of my clam chowder. Macy insists I make my “famous” chicken noodle soup for her every time I see her. Even picky Aidan is a fan. For that, I pat myself on the back. Plus, I always let them cook with me in the kitchen, which is always a lot of fun. It’s always better when we play together.
4) I rollerskate! Fast! And I can do things like jump over things and skate backwards! So cool!
5) I make them playlists to listen to when they ride with me. Macy always gets the song Runaround, which has her name in it; therefore, it’s phenomenal. The boys get Johnny Cash. And then we rock out to whatever rotates onto my iPod. A couple of years ago, poor Carson want going to punch his fist through a wall if he heard Feist’s 1234 five-six-seven-eight more times.
6) I drive a really sweet car. Parker and Dane both insist they’re getting MINI Coopers when they can drive (which is coming up quicker than any of us are comfortable with — Parker is now a teenager!). Of course, the kids always wanted to ride with me when I was driving a purple Ford Ranger, too. Somehow a purple, unreliable truck was totally rock and roll, too.
I know the average person probably wouldn’t think these things are particularly great, but when you’re competing against parents who discipline and teachers who give homework, I guess I can understand why I’m at the top of the list.
So tell me: what about you? What are the great things about you that make you somebody’s favorite something?
