I looked back today to confirm a date: October 26, 2015.
At this time, there was some discussion happening surrounding our trip to Thailand. Tim casually messaged Chum and me on that day in October to make sure it was really happening. He then wrote, “I’ve been thinking a lot about it and I want to do something fun/exciting/scary while we’re in Bangkok.”
He wanted to ask Brian to marry him.
Now, let me pause for a moment to give you more context. I have known Brian since our insecure, big-haired days in junior high. Possibly earlier. He’s been a dear friend for something like 25 years. And during that time, I’ve seen him go through a lot of ups and downs. (To be fair, he’s seen me go through the same.) And for the first time in his life, I’ve seen him at his happiest and most grounded with Tim.
So when Tim sent me that message, I pretty much curled up on a ball and sobbed my eyes out.
And then we got to work.
Over the course of the next few months, Chum, Tim, and I would make plans. We’d talk rings and perfect locations. When there were fears the trip might fall through, we’d chat and hold out hope to say that no matter what, this trip had to happen. Finally, days before we left for Thailand, it was all in place. And we were certain Brian had no clue.
In fact, we put it to the test. There were so many discussions about marriage and babies — and at one point, Brian even made a comment about how he was obviously the bride. We had plans laid out to be sure that Brian would get distracted if Tim ever got pulled over by TSA in the airports. Yet nothing gave it away to him.
We got to Bangkok and had a day to explore the city before Sam and Chum whisked us away to Krabi — a gorgeous beach resort location in southern Thailand — where we all would concoct ideas about where and when the time could happen.
We spent a couple of days shopping, gorging on Massaman Curry and Papaya salad, drinking from coconuts, swimming, exploring, and just enjoying each others’ company. And then — it happened.
Amidst an old toothless woman offering 90 baht “massages” (that’s less than $3), European dudes in Speedos, and a man selling corn on the cob he’d cook for you on a grill hanging over his shoulders, Tim popped the question.
I expected tears, but there weren’t any. There was nothing but jumping up and down and Brian screamed, “YES!”, but to be fair, my nerves made it so I was fighting back vomit and tears of my own.
Sam was flying his drone overhead to capture the moment, and while we were hoping that Tim would ask on a longboat with elephants in the background and exotic butterflies dancing around their heads, it couldn’t have been any more perfect.
If you’re wondering, yes, Brian was so mad at me — good mad — for hiding this secret for 10 months. He says he forgives me though.
And to both Brian and Tim, I couldn’t be happier that I got to be there for this moment. I wish you both endless joy together.
And Sam and Chum: You guys are amazing. Enough said.