Pregnancy and the broken body

I woke up in the middle of the night recently and found blood crusted to my face. It ran from my nose, pooled at my lip and made its way down my chin. I stared in the mirror, reminiscing over my roller derby days — when bloody lips were common place — and wondered how I had gotten so bloodied during the night. It took a couple minutes of scrubbing with soap and water before it was all gone and I thought to myself, “Ugh. Pregnancy.”

Quite frankly, the pains I’m feeling from pregnancy aren’t much different than what I experienced in derby. My ribs and abs hurt daily, much liked they did when I would get can opened by whoever was trying to stop me as a jammer, which notoriously led to weeks of sternum pain.

As my hips move to prepare for labor, it feels like my old groin damage has returned. Only now, I don’t have the excuse of, “I’ve been holding skater’s pose for hours each week and haven’t been working on my hamstrings.”

I find myself unable to wear certain shoes, but now I can’t blame ripped toenails, bunions, blisters, or sore ankles. It’s just that my feet are too swollen to fit into them.

I’m feeling beat up — in ways that are familiar, yet foreign. Only with a lot more kicks and punches to the gut — after all, those moves are illegal in modern-day roller derby.

I’m curious — how many of you ladies think this whole pregnancy thing is super weird and makes you feel like you’re nothing but a carrier for an alien who just bursts out of you and leaves nothing but ashes behind? If you’re one of the “I love being pregnant” women, I’d love to hear more about it and am willing to come to terms with the fact that you didn’t bleed out of the face. Please share your stories!

4 thoughts on “Pregnancy and the broken body

  • It’s a miracle that you are blessed to be a part of….enjoy every moment knowing God has entrusted YOU to be his angel on Earth to parent His child. ????

  • All 3 of my pregnancies were strange & the last one left me with the alien feeling. Totally worth it & strangely, having your body taken over by someone else is good preparation for motherhood. The cool thing is, these little people grow up to be amazing & are fun to get to know & share your life with… even though I still hide in the bathroom sometimes to get some privacy… I’m sure God is laughing heartily ?

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